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Today's poems [3.4.17]

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A near-sighted chap named Coulter
Led a glamorous gal to the altar.
Quite lovely he thought her
Till some strong soap and hot water
Made her look like the rock of Gibraltar.

1. 




Spam Haiku



Pink tender morsel,
Glistening with salty gel.
What the hell is it?

 --------------

Ears, snouts and inards,
A homogeneous mass.
Pass another slice.

 --------------

Old man seeks doctor.
"I eat SPAM daily", says he.
Angioplasty.

 --------------

Highly unnatural,
The tortured shape of this "food":
A small pink coffin.

 - author unknown



2. 




A fellow who slept with a whore, 
                                        Used a safe, but his pecker got sore. 
                                                      Said he with chagrin, 
                                                      "Selling these is a sin," 
                                        Said the druggist, "Caveat emptor". 

3. 




There was a young fellow named Fritz 
               Who planted a acre of tits. 
                    They came up in the fall, 
                    Pink nipples and all, 
               And he chewed them all up into bits. 

4. 




There was a young lady whose joys 
               Were achieved with incomparable poise. 
                    She could have an orgasm 
                    With never a spasm--- 
               She could fart without making a noise. 

5. 



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