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Today's jokes [3.9.17]

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Three little old ladies, sitting on a park bench.
The town flasher comes by and shows them his ALL!
The first little old lady had a huge stroke. The
second little old lady had a little stroke. 

The third little old lady would have had a
stroke................but her arms weren't quite long enough. 

1. 




   This rich couple were going out for the evening when the woman of the
   house decided to
   give the butler the rest of the night off. She said they would be home
   very late and he
   should just enjoy his night. Well, as it turned out the wife wasn't
   having a good time at the
   party, and came home early.As she walks into the house she sees Jeeves
   sitting by himself
   in the dining room. She calls for him to follow her. She leads him
   into the master bedroom,
   where she closes and locks the door. She looks at him and smiles.
   "Jeeves. Take off
   my dress." He does this carefully. "Jeeves. Take off my stockings and
   garter." He
   silently obeys her. "Jeeves. Remove my bra and panties." As he does
   this, the tension
   continues to mount. She looks at him. "Jeeves. If I ever catch you
   wearing my clothes
   again, you're fired!"
   


2. 




Creative Sighing for Effect. Sigh loudly when there are
many people around, giving the impression that you are
very hard pressed.

3. 




What is the difference between boogers and spinach?

                    You can't get your kids to eat spinach.

4. 




There was an airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa.
   It suddenly had a malfunction and went down. A few weeks later,
   PepsiCo sent a rescue plane out to look for the lost plane. They found the
   wreckage but were unable to locate the crew. They searched the area
   and found a tribe of cannibals. They walked up to the Chief of the tribe
   and asked him if he knew anything about the crash. The Chief says,
   "Yeah". When asked where the crew was the Chief replied, "We ate the
   crew and drank the Pepsi." The Rescue crew was shocked. One man asked,
   "Did you eat their legs?" The chief replied, "We ate their legs and we
   drank the Pepsi." Another rescuer asked, "Did you eat their arms?" The
   Chief said, "We ate their arms, and we drank the Pepsi". After looking
   totally perplexed for a minute a third added, "Did you...you
   know...eat
   their....things"?? The chief says, "No." "No?" asked the rescuers.
   "NO", replied the Chief, " THINGS go better with COKE!!!"


5. 



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