Today's jokes [3.9.17]
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Three little old ladies, sitting on a park bench.
The town flasher comes by and shows them his ALL!
The first little old lady had a huge stroke. The
second little old lady had a little stroke.
The third little old lady would have had a
stroke................but her arms weren't quite long enough.
This rich couple were going out for the evening when the woman of the
house decided to
give the butler the rest of the night off. She said they would be home
very late and he
should just enjoy his night. Well, as it turned out the wife wasn't
having a good time at the
party, and came home early.As she walks into the house she sees Jeeves
sitting by himself
in the dining room. She calls for him to follow her. She leads him
into the master bedroom,
where she closes and locks the door. She looks at him and smiles.
"Jeeves. Take off
my dress." He does this carefully. "Jeeves. Take off my stockings and
silently obeys her. "Jeeves. Remove my bra and panties." As he does
this, the tension
continues to mount. She looks at him. "Jeeves. If I ever catch you
wearing my clothes
again, you're fired!"
Creative Sighing for Effect. Sigh loudly when there are
many people around, giving the impression that you are
very hard pressed.
What is the difference between boogers and spinach?
You can't get your kids to eat spinach.
There was an airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa.
It suddenly had a malfunction and went down. A few weeks later,
PepsiCo sent a rescue plane out to look for the lost plane. They found the
wreckage but were unable to locate the crew. They searched the area
and found a tribe of cannibals. They walked up to the Chief of the tribe
and asked him if he knew anything about the crash. The Chief says,
"Yeah". When asked where the crew was the Chief replied, "We ate the
crew and drank the Pepsi." The Rescue crew was shocked. One man asked,
"Did you eat their legs?" The chief replied, "We ate their legs and we
drank the Pepsi." Another rescuer asked, "Did you eat their arms?" The
Chief said, "We ate their arms, and we drank the Pepsi". After looking
totally perplexed for a minute a third added, "Did you...you
their....things"?? The chief says, "No." "No?" asked the rescuers.
"NO", replied the Chief, " THINGS go better with COKE!!!"
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