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Today's jokes [3.14.17]

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   A farmer and his wife were laying in bed one night, the farmer feeling
   a little frisky,
   reaches over and gives his wife's breast a little feel and
   says,"Mother, if this could give
   milk, we could get rid of the cow." His hand then travels down to her
   crotch, and he says,
   "Mother, if this could give eggs, we could get rid of the chickens."
   His wife then reaches
   over and grabs his penis. "Father, if this could stay hard, we could
   get rid of your brother.
   


1. 




It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of 
corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. 

"Hey Willis!!" the farmer yelled. "Forget your troubles. Come in 
with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon up." 

"That's mighty nice of you, " Willis answered, "but I don't think 
Pa would like me to." 

"Aw, come on," the farmer insisted. 

"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "But Pa won't 
like it." 

After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better 
now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset." 

"Don't be foolish !" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, 
where is he?" 

"Under the wagon."

2. 




Three Blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for four 
hours they finally saw a sign that said "Disneyland -- "Left",  so they 
turned around and went home.

3. 




How do you drownd a blonde???


You place a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.

Sent by L&S

4. 




Did you hear that Betty Crocker passed away.
The funeral is set at 4:50 for ten to fifteen minutes. 

5. 



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