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Today's jokes [2.4.17]

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   Yeah, fat broads are like mopeds. They're fun to ride,
   but you don't want your friends to see you on one.
   


1. 




Q: Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London?
A: They were REALLY pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.

2. 




Drive carefully. 90% of the people on the road are caused by accident.

3. 




Different sex outcomes

Brunette after sex: "Oh that was great! Love you... wanna marry?"
Blonde after sex: "Next!"
Redhead after sex: "Better start chewing some VITAMINS, kid."

4. 




   While making love to his wife, Carl discovered he couldn't enjoy it.
   Though they had been married only a few years, he relflectly
   unhappily, their love-making had become infrequent and bland. Then
   quite suddenly, alarmed, he said: "What happened, did I hurt you ?"
   
   "Why no, not at all," said his surprised wife. "Whatever made you ask
   that ?"
   
   "Well, no reason actually," the bored husband replied with a sigh,
   "It's just that for a moment there, I thought you actully moved."


5. 



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