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Today's jokes [2.3.17]

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What do you give the paedophile who has everything?
Another parish

1. 




One night a police officer named Mike was working the grave-yard shift and 
he drove to his house around 3 A.M. in the morning.  He opened the door to 
the bedroom quietly and took off his clothes in the dark ,and got in bed 
with his wife.  Then she said ,"Honey, can you go over to the Drug Store 
and pick me up some Asprin?"  The husband said yes, got dressed in the 
dark, and walked over to the Drug Store.
When he got to the Drug Store, he got the Asprin and went up to the desk 
so that the clerk could ring it up.  Then when he got up there, the clerk 
asked,"Say, Aren't you Mike This-and-That?"
Mike answered him and said, "Yes I am."
Then the clerk looked puzzled and asked, "Well, aren't you a police 
officer?"
And again Mike replied yes.
Then the clerk asked,"Then why are you dressed like the fire chief?"

Sent by Tyler

2. 




Why is Chelsea Clinton growing up a confused child? 

Because dad can't keep his pants on and mom wants to wear 
them.

Sent by Nic

3. 




A Polish family is sitting in the living room.

The wife turns to the husband and says, "Let's send the kids 
out back to p-l-a-y , so we can fuck."

4. 




A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around 
the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable 
at all. 
On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he 
found himself assigned to the toughest students in school. Walking 
confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as 
possible and then busied himself with desk work. 
When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took the desk stapler and 
stapled the tie to his chest. 
Discipline was not a problem from that day forth!

5. 



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