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Today's jokes [2.15.17]

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Four Mexicans were in an open truck that had run into the lake.The two
in the front seat escaped unharmed, but the two in the back bed drowned -
they couldn't get the tailgate open!


1. 




Ralph and Charlie where playing the ninth hole at the local country club 
when Ralph hit his tee shot way to the right. Ralph walked over to the 
deep rough, found his ball, and proceeded to beat the hell out of wild 
buttercups with his pitching wedge. Mother Nature appeared and said, 
"Since you destroyed all of my favorite buttercups, if you ever taste 
butter, smell butter, or even think about butter you will become deathly 
ill and die."
Ralph walked out of the rough toward Charlie with a big smile on his face. 
Ralph then told him his story with a big grin on his face. Charlie says, 
"That's not a good thing! Why are you smiling?" Ralph replies, "I almost 
hit the pussy willows."

2. 




What do you do when a Rottweiler gets amorous on your leg?

Fake an orgasm.

3. 




A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy: "So your mother says
your prayers for you each night? Very commendable. What does she
say?"
The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"

4. 




When is premature ejaculation a serious problem?

When it occurs between "hello" and "what's your sign?"

5. 



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