Today's poems [12.1.17]
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There was a young man from Aberdeen
Who invented a jerking machine.
On the twenty-fifth stroke
The goddamn thing broke
And beat his balls into a cream.
There once was a man from Calcutta
Who spoke with a terrible stutter
To the waiter he said,
"Give me bu-bu-bu-bread
and some bu-bu-bu-bu-bu-bu-butter."
Sent by Jennifer
A mouse in her room woke Miss Doud
Who was frightened and screamed very loud
Then a happy thought hit her
To scare off the critter
She sat up in bed and just meowed
To the tune of 'Yesterday':
Leprocy, bits and pieces falling off of me,
I'm not half the man I used to be,
Oh I contracted Leprocy.
There was a young lady of Michigan,
Who said, "Damn it! I've got the itch again."
Said her mother, "That's strange,
I'm surprised it ain't mange,
If you've slept with that son-of-a-bitch again."
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