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Today's jokes [11.2.17]

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An old rabbi is talking with one of his friends and
says with a warm smile, "I gladdened seven hearts today." 
"Seven hearts?" asks the friend. "How did you do that?" 
The rabbi strokes his beard and replies, "I performed three marriages." 
The friend looks at him quizically.
"Seven?" he asks. "I could understand six, but..." 
"What do you think" says the rabbi, "that I do this for free?"

1. 




What is It?

                    Bush has a short one. Gorbachev has a long one. 
                    Maddona does not have one. And a priest does not 
                    use his. What is it?

                    A Last name

2. 




There was a young girl called Anna,
Who was rather good with a spanner.
A boy gave her a knock,
So she grabbed his big cock,
And he now has a whole different manner!


Sent by Louise

3. 




I got home from work last night and said to my wife, "You are a one"
She said "What do you mean, I am a one?"
I said, "If Bo Derek's a ten, you're a one". 

4. 




It was during a ball at Andrew Jackson's country home that the 
family physician approached Mrs. Jackson to say, "You're 
looking wonderful tonite, Rachel! What keeps you so radiant 
and effervescent?"

"Having such a popular husband, of course."

"Surely there must be more to it than that, madam."

"Well, there's Old Hickory's dickery, doc."



5. 



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