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Today's jokes [10.1.17]

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An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh
Prison and he didn't know anyone who would spade up his potato garden.
The old man wrote to his son about it and received this reply. "For
Heavens SAKES, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the
GUNS!!!
At 4 A.M. the next morning a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up
the entire garden, but didn't find any guns. Confused the man wrote to
his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next. His
son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."

1. 




John: I got this great new hearing aid the other day.

Mary: Are you wearing it now?

John: Yup. Cost me four thousand dollars, though. But it's top 
of the line.

Mary: What kind is it?

John: Twelve-thirty.

2. 




How do you separate the Greek boys from the Greek men at a Greek BBQ?

With a Crowbar!!!!!

3. 




Why do blondes drive BMWs?

     Because they can spell it. 

4. 




Two hookers were on a street corner.  They started discussing business,
and one of the hookers said, "Gonna be a good night, I smell cock in
the air."

The other hooker looked at her and said, "No, I just burped."

5. 



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