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Today's jokes [1.7.17]

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What do you see when the pillsbary dough boy bends over?



Doughnuts


Sent by Susan

1. 




Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant?
A: When he realises he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an
             undertaker. 

2. 




This aussie caught this Kiwi having a bit of fun with a sheep.....

"Mate", the aussie said, "Over there we shear them".
The kiwi replied, "Mate, I'm not shearing this with innyone"

3. 




if at first you dont succeed...

buy her another drink 

4. 




A man and a woman are sitting next to each other at a bar getting
drunk. The man turns to the woman and asks her why she's so down.
"My husband just left me. He said I'm too kinky in bed," she said.
"What a coincidence! My wife just left me," said the man, "she told
me that I was too kinky for her, too!"
The two talk a little while longer, and finding that they have so
much in common they decide to go back to the woman's house to have
kinky sex.
When they get to the woman's house she turns to the man and says,
"Give me ten minutes, I want to slip into something more comfortable."
She goes into the bathroom and changes into a full leather dominatrix
outfit.
However, as she is coming out of her bathroom, the man is putting on
his coat and walking out the door.
"What happened?" She said, "I thought you wanted to have kinky sex?"
He looks at her and says, "Well, I just screwed your dog and shit in
your purse. I'm done." 

5. 



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