Today's stories [6.22.14]
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My mother taught me to read when I was three years old (her first
mistake). One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet
doors was ajar.I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why
she was keeping 'napkins' in the bathroom. Didn't they belong in the
kitchen??? Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts, she told me
that those were for special occasions".
Now fast forward a few months...
It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up the pastor and
his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they were
Mine was to set the table. When they returned, the pastor came in first
and immediately burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then
began giggling. Next came my father, who roared with laughter. Then came
mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on
the table with a "special occasion" napkin at each plate, with the fork
carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tail in so they
didn't hang off the edge!!
My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent the
other adults into further fits of laughter. "But, Mom, you SAID they were
for special occasions!"
Recently, when I went to McDonald's. I saw on the menu
that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken
McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We
don't have half dozen nuggets", said the teenager at
the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have
six, nine, or twelve," was the reply "So I can't
order a half-dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"
"That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six
I was checking out at the local Foodland with just a
few items and the lady behind me put her things on
the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those
"Dividers" that they keep by the cash register and
placed it between our things so they wouldn't get
mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items,
she picked up the "Divider" looking it all over for
the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the
bar code she said to me "Do you know how much this
is?" and I said to her "I've changed my mind, I
don't think I'll buy that today". She said "OK"
and I paid her for the things and left. She had
no clue to what had just happened.....
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