Today's jokes [6.17.14]
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Four nuns arrived at the gates of heaven. St. Peter makes the
inspection. The first one
says:"I have to confess, I held mans penis in one hand." St. Peter
says:"You see the bowl
of holy water, wash your hand and go in." The second says:"I have to
confess, I held
mans penis in both hands." St. Peter:"Wash both your hands and go in.
other two start fighting, something terrible. St.Peter goes there,
pulls them apart, asks
*What's going on? One of them shouts I want to gargle, before she
washes her ass in
A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on
the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down.
"Grandpa, what are you doing?" he exclaimed.
The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. "Grandpa,
what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he
The old man slyly looked at him and said, "Well, last week I sat out here
with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This was your Grandma's idea!"
Little Johnny was in class again.Teacher asked everyone "Can anyone
tell me a sentence
with the word definitely in it?" Meg puts up her hand."The sky is
definitely blue." "Thats
not bad,Meg," says the teacher, "but the sky can be grey or red."
Young Sally tried :"The
grass is definitely green." "Good try Sally,but grass can be yellow or
Suddenly Little Johnny's hand shoots up."Miss Brown does a fart have
teacher was horrified."No of course not Johnny! What are you talking
about?" So Johnny
says,"Well then Miss brown, I've definitely shit my pants!"
Age FAVORITE SPORT
The scene was Mount Olympus, where Bacchus, the Greek
god of wine, had thrown a party for a pair of visiting Roman
deities -- Ceres, the goddess of agriculture, and Janus, the two-
faced god of doors and beginnings. Everyone overdid it, more or
less. Ceres at one point was staggering and turning in circles;
Janus, equally submerged, was trying to dance with her.
Bacchus feared that the pair might fall over, so he went to
steady them. .... This marked the first time that a whirled Ceres
was held with a double-header.
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