Today's stories [2.29.12]
Vote for the story that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to story categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your story reading.
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered
his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which
required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers
exited, give a smile, and a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said
that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the
passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart
Finally everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking
with a cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?" "Why no
Ma'am," said the pilot, "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we
land or were we shot down?"
Germany was frequently bombing Russia during World War
II. Every time the air raid siren sounded, people rushed to
the nearest air raid bomb shelter. One person who never
took shelter was a professor of statistics. He argued that
there are seven million people in Russia and the probability
of a bomb actually dropping on him was very small. Then
suddenly one day when the air raid siren was sounded the
professor rushed to the air raid shelter along with his
neighbours from the building.
"Lost your nerver professor ?"asked one of his aquaitances.
" NO" said the professor " but I have realized that the bombs
do not observe the laws of probability. There were seven
million people and one elephant in Russia . Yesterday they
got the elephant."
Sent by nanditha
Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake
City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was
quite a bump and I know what ya'll are thinking. I'm here to tell you
it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the
flight attendant's fault.....it was the asphalt!"
By voting you are helping select today's best story. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best stories to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's PoemsToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29