Today's jokes [10.7.12] Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.
Santa comes once a year - but when he does he fills your stocking!
A man wakes up early one morning and decides to go duck hunting. He tells his wife, "You've got three choices; you can go duck hunting with me, I'll do ya anally or you can give me a blowjob. I'm gonna load up the truck and get the dog out. Make up your mind before I get back." Hubby returns twenty minutes later and says, "Well what's it gonna be?" She say's, "There's no way I'm going duck hunting and you're not doing my ass so I guess it's a blowjob." A couple minutes later she starts choking and spitting and says, "Jesus, you taste like shit." "Oh yeah," he replies, "The dog didn't want to go duck huntin' either."
Good News, Bad News, Worse News III Good: Your husband understands fashion Bad: He's a crossdresser Worse: He looks better than you
What is the definition of ultimate rejection? Your hand falling asleep while masturbating.
The young couple was engaged in a most affectionate embrace when there came the sound of a key in the front door. The young lady broke away at once, eyes wide with alarm. "Heavens," she cried, "it's my husband! Quick, jump out the window." The young man, equally alarmed, made a quick step toward the window, then demurred. "I can't," he said, "we're on the thirteenth floor." "For heaven's sake," cried the young lady in exasperation, "is this a time to be superstitious?"
Love, Mary
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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