Today's jokes [10.19.12]

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There was an airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa.
   It suddenly had a malfunction and went down. A few weeks later,
   PepsiCo sent a rescue plane out to look for the lost plane. They found the
   wreckage but were unable to locate the crew. They searched the area
   and found a tribe of cannibals. They walked up to the Chief of the tribe
   and asked him if he knew anything about the crash. The Chief says,
   "Yeah". When asked where the crew was the Chief replied, "We ate the
   crew and drank the Pepsi." The Rescue crew was shocked. One man asked,
   "Did you eat their legs?" The chief replied, "We ate their legs and we
   drank the Pepsi." Another rescuer asked, "Did you eat their arms?" The
   Chief said, "We ate their arms, and we drank the Pepsi". After looking
   totally perplexed for a minute a third added, "Did you...you
   know...eat
   their....things"?? The chief says, "No." "No?" asked the rescuers.
   "NO", replied the Chief, " THINGS go better with COKE!!!"

The other day my house caught fire. The insurance agent said, "Shouldn't 
be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?" I said, "Fire and 
theft."
Insurance agent frowned. "Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft."
Apparently, the only way I can make a claim with this coverage is if the 
house is robbed while it's burning down. 

Billy Ray and Billie Bob are driving home from a party. BR runs a red 
light. BB says, "Hey! What the fuck are you doing! That light was red!" 
BR replies, "Don't worry, my brother does it all the time, it's OK."
Then he does it again. 
BB: " Damn it, you done it again!"
BR: "It's OK, I tell you. My brother does it all the time."
The next light is green. BR slams on the brakes.
BB: "Where did you learn to drive? That was green. You are supposed to go 
through."
BR: "Well I would have, but my brother might be coming through!

Q: Why are brides dressed in white?
A: So they match the rest of the appliances.

Q:How can you tell if a blond has been sleepwalking? 

A:When you look in the refridgorator and there's
  lipstick all over the pickles. 

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