Today's stories [12.18.10]
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"I am a Paramedic, recently I was called to
a scene where a man in his late 60s had died and obviously
been there a couple of days. We searched for any sign of
trauma.... None. We looked for anything that might indicate a
medical problem... heart meds etc..... None. The only medicine
we found: Viagra. About that time the coroner arrived (a
strikingly pretty gal) who asked me, "How long has he been
dead?" I replied a couple of days, she said, "Oh so he is stiff
then?" I handed her the Viagra bottle and said, "In more ways
Harlan says there's a Judi who works at his place: Our
receptionist, (yes, she is a blonde), often takes orders to call
out for pizza on nights we work late. One night, after placing an
order for two pizza's from around the corner, we asked her how
long it would be. She said she was told 40 minutes. When we
commented to her that we thought that was a long time, she
responded "that seems about right, it takes 20 minutes to cook
a pizza and we ordered 2 of them".
Heather works with a Russian gent who is trying to learn
the idiomatic phrases of English. At the end of the workday
another worker always comes in the office and asks if there's
anything they can do for us before they leave. A girl jokingly
said once, "Yeah, you can go to the bathroom for me." The
next day, the Russian gent (trying to fit in) decided to answer
"can we do something for you before we leave?" and he said,
"Yes, take my dick to the bathroom."
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