Today's jokes [12.7.10]
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Brenda, pregnant with her first child, was paying a visit to her
obstetrician's office. When the exam was over, she shyly began, "My
husband wants me to ask you..."
"I know, I know." the doctor said, placing a reassuring hand on her
shoulder, "I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late In
"No, that's not it at all," Brenda confessed. "He wants to know if
I can still mow the lawn."
What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
A man comes to a doctor and, twitching his fingers and stuttering,
finally manages to say, "Doctor, I have a sexual performance problem.
Can you help me?"
"Oh, that's not a problem for us men anymore!" announces a proud
physician, "They just came out with this new wonder drug, Viagra, that
does the trick! You take some pills, and your problems are history."
So the doctor gives the man a prescription and sends him on his merry
A couple of months later, the doctor runs into his patient on the
street. "Doctor, Doctor!" exclaims the man excitedly, "I've got to
thank you! This drug is a miracle! It's wonderful! I've had sex
fourteen times in eight days!"
"Well, I'm glad to hear that" says the pleased physician, "What does
your wife think about it?"
"Wife?" asks the man, "I haven't even been home yet!"
A rural Frenchman was on trial for killing his wife when
he found her with a neighbor. Upon being asked why he shot
her instead of her lover, he replied,
"Ah, m'sieur, is it not better to shoot a woman once than a
different man every week?"
A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an
experienced partner. A call came over the car's radio telling
them to disperse some people who were loitering.
The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd
standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and
said, "Let's get off the corner."
No one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off the corner!"
Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled
glances in his direction. Proud of his first official act, the young
policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I
"Pretty good," replied the veteran, "especially since this was a
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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