Today's jokes [12.12.10]
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Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A: One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with....
the other is used to carry groceries.
Another Cow joke I attribute to my 'Ol chemestry prof was the placement of
a cow onto the roof. I would presume a fairly storng roof, but once up
there it would be hard to hide the fact to the cow that any direction would
Another pratical joke involved the use of outhouses. Once the target has
established himself you take up the slack on the attached rope which has
been measured to set up tremendious harmonics in the structure. When the
rope transfers your strumming to the outhouse, it usually falls apart with
a most revieling nature..
Three mice are sitting in a bar talking about how tough they are. The
first mouse slams
down a shot and says, "I play with mouse traps for fun. I'll run into
one on purpose and as
it's closing on me, I grab the bar and bench press it twenty or thirty
times." And with that
he slams another shot.
The second mouse slams down a shot and says, "That's nothing. I take
tablets, cut 'em up, and snort 'em just for the fun of it." And with
that he slams another
The third mouse slams down a shot, gets up and walks away. The first
two mice look at
each other, and then turn to the third mouse and ask, "Where the hell
are you going?"
The third mouse stops and replies, "I'm going home to fuck the cat."
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a phone booth?
A1: You need a quarter to use the phone.
A2: Only one person can use the phone at once.
A couple gets married, and thirty years later they're in the same hotel,
in the same room. She takes off all her clothes, lies back on the bed, and
spreads her legs. Her husband starts to cry. She says, "What's the
matter?" He says, "Thirty years ago I couldn't wait to eat it. Now it
looks like it can't wait to eat me."
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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