Today's jokes [11.8.09]

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She: What do you love most, my natural beauty or my body?

He: Your sense of humor.

Shortest Book of the Month:
Ronald Reagan's "Memories"

A Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg who many years ago was
stranded late one night at a fashionable resort - one that did
not admit Jews.
 The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, "Sorry, no
room. The hotel is full." The Jewish lady said, "But your
sign says that you have vacancies."  The desk clerk
stammered and then said curtly, "You know that we do not
admit Jews.  Now if you will try the other side of town..."
 Mrs. Rosenberg stiffened noticeable and said, "I'll have you
know I converted to your religion."
 The desk clerk said, "Oh, yeah, let me give you a little test.
How was Jesus born?"
 Mrs. Rosenberg replied, "He was born to a virgin named Mary
in a little town called Bethlehem."
 "Very good," replied the hotel clerk. "Tell me more."
 Mrs. Rosenberg replied, "He was born in a manger."
 "That's right," said the hotel clerk.  "And why was he born in a
manger?"
 Mrs. Rosenberg said loudly, "Because a jerk like you in the
hotel wouldn't give a Jewish lady a room for the night!"

The nervous young bride became irritated by her husband's lusty advances 
on their wedding night and reprimanded him severely. "I demand proper 
manners in bed," she declared, "just as I do at the dinner table."
Amused by his wife's formality, the groom smoothed his rumpled hair and 
climbed quietly between the sheets. "Is that better?" he asked, with a 
hint of a smile." "Yes," replied the girl, "much better." "Very good, 
darling," the husband whispered. "Now would you be so kind as to please 
pass the pussy."

The company president called the chief security guard into his office. 
"Chuck, we've received a complaint from one of the employees that you are 
making obscene sexual comments and putting your hands where they don't
belong. These unwanted advances will have to stop." Chuck looked down at 
his feet and mumbled, "I'm sorry, Sir. I won't' do it again." The company 
president said, "I'm sure Ms. Jones will be happy to hear that." Chuck's 
face lit up. "Ms Jones?!!!! I was afraid that Bob in Accounting was 
complaining!!!!"

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