Today's jokes [11.14.09]

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Larry's barn burned down, and Susan, his wife, called the insurance
company ...

Susan: We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money.
Agent: Whoa there just a minute, Susan; it doesn't work quite like that. 
We will ascertain the value of the old barn and provide you with a new one 
of comparable worth.
Susan, after a pause: I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband.

A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their wedding 
anniversary. The husband decides to give his wife a gift, a tombstone, 
with the inscription: "Here lies my wife.....cold as ever" Later the 
furious wife bought a return present, a tombstone with the inscription: 
"Here lies my husband.....stiff at last"

How do you confuse a blonde?

Put her in a round room and tell her to pee in the corner.

How do you confuse her even more?

Ask her where she went.

Sent by Chris

A woman strode angrily into the large drug-store-cum-general-store, 
slapped a package on the counter, and loudly expressed her 
dissatisfaction.
The clerk asked, "What's the problem? Wouldn't your cat eat them?"
The woman's eyes got very large, and she whispered,
"Do you mean to tell me that Pussy Treats are meant for 'cats'?" 

Q: How does a man show he's planning for the future?
A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

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