Today's jokes [8.9.08]
Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to joke categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.
A Polish family is sitting in the living room.
The wife turns to the husband and says, "Let's send the kids
out back to p-l-a-y , so we can fuck."
A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat
next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was
plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was
sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper
and began reading. After a few minutes the disheveled guy turned
to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"
"My son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked
women, too much alcohol, and a contempt for your fellow man."
"Well, I'll be damned," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and
apologized. "I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong.
How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."
A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great
expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd
take it and throw it into the river."
With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine
in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."
And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the
world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." He sat down.
The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with
a smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn # 365:
"Shall We Gather at the River."
Q: What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a pit bull?
What is the similarity between a woman and a washing machine?
They both leak when they're fucked!
By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
10 11 12 13 14 15 16
17 18 19 20 21 22 23
24 25 26 27 28 29 30