My brother was his graduating class's validictorian. When he stood up to speak, all was going just fine, until he closed with, "and in closing I'll just say that there are two great honors a man can hope to achieve in his lifetime. And these two honors are, GET ON HER and STAY ON HER !" The crowd busted a gut laughing, but my father was in big hot water since Mom knew exactly who had coached my brother with that one. Sent by Jennifer
IDIOTS ON THE ROAD The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine(a blonde), when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. She responded, appalled "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"
When the last scene of Titanic faded to black and people began rushing for the exits, one patron shouted: "Quick! There are only enough cars in the parking lot for half of us!"
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