Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 
 


Pokern
 
 
Today's stories [5.11.05]

Vote for the story that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to story categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your story reading.


A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety
          record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the
          use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial
          Machinery News, the film's depiction of gory industrial
          accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered
          minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room.
          Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches
          after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the
          film.

1.   Vote:    Category: At Work Send this story to a friend




Two local men were seriously injured when their pickup truck left the road
and hit a tree near Cotton Plant on State Highway 38 early Monday morning

Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock are
listed in serious condition at Baptist Medical Center.

The accident occurred as the two men were returning to Des Arc after a
cat-gigging trip. (Note to city slickers, cat-gigging, or cat-sticking,
is how, armed with a small pitchfork), you catch cats from the bayou bank.

Cats make a tasty supper.

On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned.
The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older model truck had
burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the
.22 caliber bullet from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to
the steering wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet, the headlights again
began to operate and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White
river Bridge.

After traveling approximately 20 miles and just before crossing the river,
the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the right
testicle. The vehicle swerved sharply to the right, exiting the pavement and
striking the tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions, but will
require surgery to repair the other wound. Wallis sustained a broken
clavicle and was treated and released.

Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his nuts off or we
might now be dead, 'said Wallis.

"I've been a trooper for I0 years in this part of the world," said Deputy
Snyder, "but this is a first for me. I cant believe that those two would
admit how the accident happened."

Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavina, Poole's wife, asked how many cats
the boys had caught, and did anyone think to get them from the truck.

2.   Vote:    Category: Situations Send this story to a friend




As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed
   her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately and the woman was
   able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within
   minutes, the police had apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the
   car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the
   car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied
   "Yes Officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
   When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motorhome parked on a
   Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived
   at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motorhome near
   spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to
   trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motorhome's
   sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press
   charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
   The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
   Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5am, flashed a gun and demanded
   cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the
   cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings,
   the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man,
   frustrated, walked away.


  

3.   Vote:    Category: Criminals Send this story to a friend



BONUS! A random story from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD




 

By voting you are helping select today's best story. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best stories to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Jokes
Today's Poems
Today's Quotes
Today's Funny Pic

 May '05 Stories Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
1  2  3  4  5  6  7  
8  9  10 11 12 13 14 
15 16 17 18 19 20 21 
22 23 24 25 26 27 28 
29 30 31 

 
Jump to