There once was a lady from Pinner
Whose boyfriend wanked on her dinner
She said if you please
I don't mind some cream teas
But I like my white sauce a bit thinner
There was a young peasant named Gorse
Who fell madly in love with his horse.
Said his wife, "You rapscallion,
That horse is a stallion---
This constitutes grounds for divorce."
There was a young Scot in Madrid
Who got fifty-five fucks for a quid.
When they said, "Are you faint?"
He replied, "No, I ain't,
But I don't feel as good as I did."
Said a lovely young lady named Lake,
Pervertedly fond of a snake,
"If my good friend, the boa,
What offspring we'll leave in our wake!"
There once was a man named Sweenie,
who spilled some gin on his weenie.
So just to be couth,
he spilled some vermouth.
And then slipped his girl a Martini.
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