My brother-in-law went to the doctor complaining of a very difficult time
achieving an orgasm.
The Dr said "which position do you use?"
"Doggy style," said dumb shit.
"why don't you go home and tonight try it missionary position and see if
that works any better." said the Dr.
"We've tryed that" he said,  "but my dogs got such baaadddd breath!"

The newly married man came home from work to find his new 
bride stretched languorously on the sofa, dressed in a negligee.

"Guess what I got planned for dinner?" she asked seductively. 
"And don't you dare tell me you had it for lunch today."

Ever hear of the redneck who thought that "Manual Labor" was the new 
Mexican President? 

Dear Abby:

My husband is a lying cheat. He tells me he loves me, but he has cheated 
our entire marriage. He is a good provider and has many friends and 
supporters. They know he is a lying cheat, but they just avoid the issue. 
He is a hard worker but many of his coworkers are leery of him.  Every 
time he gets caught, he denies it all. Then he admits that he was wrong 
and begs me to forgive him.
This has been going on for so long, everyone in town knows he is a cheat.
I don't know what to do.

Signed
Frustrated                                                  

----------------

Dear Frustrated:                                            

You should dump him.  Now that you are finally a New York Senator, you 
don't need him anymore.

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked,
"Mommy, can little girls have babies?"
"No", said his mom, "of course not."
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his
friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"