There's a little fellow named Junior who hangs out at Tim Alley's
Grocery Store. The owner Tim doesn't know what Junior's
problem is, but the boys like to tease him. They say he is two
bricks shy of a load, or two pickles shy of a barrel. To prove it,
sometimes they offer Junior his choice between a nickel and a
He always takes the nickel, they say, because it's bigger.
One day after Junior grabbed the nickel, Tim got him off to one
side and said, "Junior, those boys are making fun of you. They
think you don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel.
Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?"
Junior said, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd quit doing it!"
Phone Won't Stop Ringing? -- Here's What You Do.
Leola Starling of Ribrock, Tenn., had a serious telephone problem. But
unlike most people she did something about it.
The brand-new $10 million Ribrock Plaza Motel opened nearby and had
acquired almost the same telephone number as Leola.
From the moment the motel opened, Leola was besieged by calls not for her.
Since she had the same phone number for years, she felt that she had a
case to persuade the motel management to change its number.
Naturally, the management refused, claiming that it could not change its
The phone company was not helpful, either. A number was a number, and just
because a customer was getting someone else's calls 24 hours a day didn't
make it responsible. After her pleas fell on deaf ears, Leola decided to
take matters into her own hands.
At 9 o'clock the phone rang. Someone from Memphis was calling the motel
and asked for a room for the following Tuesday. Leola said, "No problem.
How many nights?"
A few hours later Dallas checked in. A secretary wanted a suite with two
bedrooms for a week. Emboldened, Leola said the Presidential Suite on the
10th floor was available for $600 a night. The secretary said that she
would take it and asked if the hotel wanted a deposit. "No, that won't be
necessary," Leola said. "We trust you."
The next day was a busy one for Leola. In the morning, she booked an
electric appliance manufacturers' convention for Memorial Day weekend, a
college prom and a reunion of the 82nd Airborne veterans from World War
She turned on her answering machine during lunchtime so that she could
watch the O.J. Simpson trial, but her biggest challenge came in the
afternoon when a mother called to book the ballroom for her daughter's
wedding in June.
Leola assured the woman that it would be no problem and asked if she would
be providing the flowers or did she want the hotel to take care of it. The
mother said that she would prefer the hotel to handle the floral
arrangements. Then the question of valet parking came up. Once again Leola
was helpful. "There's no charge for valet parking, but we always recommend
that the client tips the drivers."
Within a few months, the Ribrock Plaza Motel was a disaster area.
People kept showing up for weddings, bar mitzvahs, and Sweet Sixteen
parties and were all told there were no such events.
Leola had her final revenge when she read in the local paper that the
motel might go bankrupt. Her phone rang, and an executive from Marriott
said, "We're prepared to offer you $200,000 for the motel."
Leola replied. "We'll take it, but only if you change the telephone
The re-release of George Lucas' "Star Wars" raked in millions.
"This came as a relief to Princess Leia who had fallen on hard
times and was considering becoming a spokeswoman for Weight
Watchers and Ocean Spray." (Joshua Sostrin)
Says Paul Ecker, "Teenagers all over the country are asking the
same question: Who's Mark Hamil?"
The film was enhanced with even more special effects. "In a
related move, Sweden will re-release Ingmar Bergman's films
"enhanced with even more gloom,'" (Michael Edens)
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