"Since all the Heaven's Gates members were discovered wearing Nike sneakers,
do you think Nike might change their slogan to 'Maybe You Should Think
-- Scott Adams, DNRC Newsletter 14.0
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to
find a woman I don't like and just give her a house,"
- Lewis Grizzard
"Into everyone's life, a little rain must fall, but this is ridiculous."
"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better
verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of
that study: Duh."
- Conan O'Brien
"NOTE TO SELF: When CGI women start turning you on, it's time to leave
By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's StoriesToday's Poems