Modern Love Poem
A Trite Redundant Poem With a Laughable Excuse For a Structure
Addressed To Absolutely No One in Particular and Whose Only Redeeming
Value is That It's Short
a.k.a. A Modern Love Poem
My dearest darling with long dark hair and eyes azure,
My love for you is eternal, tried, and sure.
I stare into the infinite depths of your eyes,
But I often find my gaze directed at your thighs.
Everyone appreciates your unsurpassed beauty and grace,
Your perfect supple form and enchanting face.
Some say beauty is fleeting, and boy do I agree.
Your personality sucks, so when you're 40, with you I will not be.
My sweet, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways...
One...uh...one...hmm...number one...gimme a chance... how about the
way your body sways?
Let me once more restate my love for you.
65% of the time, to you I'm true.
There is no other woman with whom I lay,
At least, not at this particular time of day.
My dear, you're absolutely the best.
How 'bout accompanying me to the next Centralfest?
(That is, unless I don't have another date)
The events that brought us together must have been fate.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
You're the greatest, Jenny, I mean Cherry, I mean Sue.
There was a fat turkey named Sam,
Who gobbled whenever he ran.
He came out of the bush,
Presenting his tush,
And was shot up the arse by a man.
There was a young lady from Niger,
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger.
After the ride
She was inside,
And the smile was on the face of the tiger.
There was a young colonel from Trent
Who lived in a lavender tent.
He said that some sessions
With interesting Hessians
Had taught him what war really meant.
The youth who frequent picture palaces
Have no use for psychoanalysis,
And although Dr Freud
Is distinctly annoyed,
They cling to their long-standing fallacies.
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