Some beauty parlors do a great job.
One young man followed a young woman
for twenty blocks. Then he found out
it was his grandmother.
Want some chicken?
A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chicken running
along side his car. He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with
him because he was doing 50 MPH.
He accelerated to 60 and the chicken stayed right next to him. He
speeded up to 75 MPH and the chicken passed him up. The man noticed
chicken had three legs.
So, he followed to chicken down a road and ended up at a farm. He got
out of his car and saw that all the chickens had three legs. He asked
the farmer "What's up with these chickens?"
The farmer said "Well, everybody likes chicken legs. I bred a three
legged bird. I'm going to be a millionaire." The man asked him how
The farmer said "Don't know, haven't caught one yet."
A psychiatrist met a friend and exclaimed, "I heard you died."
"But you see I'm alive ," smiled the friend. "Impossible," said the
psychiatrist. "The man who told me is much more reliable than you."
Three guys are applying for a job with the CIA. They get all the way
to the final test.
So the first guy walks into the director's office and sits down. The
director reaches in his desk and pulls out a pistol. He lays it on his
desk in front of the guy. Tells him, "This test is to test your
loyalty. Take this gun and go up the stairs and go into the first room
on your right. Your wife will be in there. Put a bullet in her head."
The guy looks at him and says, "No way." So the director says, "You
The next guy comes in. The director tells him the same thing. Guy
picks up the gun and heads for the room. Comes back about 15 minutes
later. Tells the director that he just couldn't go through with it.
The director says, "You fail."
So now the third guy comes in, same scene. Guy heads up to the room.
The director hears 3 shots, followed by a whole lot of ruckus (glass
breaking, furniture getting smashed). Guy comes back in all beat up
and his clothes tore up. The director goes, "What happened to you?"
Guy replies, "After three shots I realized that there were blanks in
the gun so I had to choke the bitch to death."
A sweet little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is
working, and asks him, "Daddy, what's sex?"
So, her father sits her down, and tells her all about the birds and
He tells her about conception, sexual intercourse, sperm and eggs etc.
He tells her about puberty, menstruation, men and women and love......
He thinks what the hell, and tells her the works, thinking that to
tell it all is the only way to tell truth.
The girl is somewhat awe struck with this sudden influx of bizarre new
knowledge, and her father finally asks, "So why did you wish to know
"Oh, mommy said lunch would be ready in a couple of secs..."
By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's Quotes