What do a meteorologist in a snowstorm
and a woman's sex life have in common?
They're both concerned with how many
inches and how long it will last.
How are women like elevators?
Only about half go down.
How do you circumcise a redneck?
Kick his sister in the chin.
A Jewish father has two kids who want to sell lemonade on the street
corner for 15 cents a glass. He figures he'll spend about 3 bucks on the
ingredients, the kids will sell maybe 10 glasses and then drink the rest
and get stomach aches. His eventual response:
"Go stand on the corner for two hours and come back, I'll give
you two dollars. Everybody wins."
The Naming of Jesus
A group of biblical scholars were involved in a heated discussion about how Jesus of Nazareth
was named. How did he become known as the Messiah, or Christ. One of the scholars argued that
the name was a Greek corruption of Aramaic, and purists and fundamentalists ought to use the
name Joshua. Another argued that Joshua was Hebrew, not Aramaic, to which a third argued that
Hebrew should be used because Jesus was said to be the King of the Jews. The debate went on
and on and became more and more sophisticated and obtuse. Finally, an old man known for his
wisdom intervened. He informed the group that he knew how Jesus was named. When Jesus was born,
a star shown in the sky, and three wise men from the East travelled to Bethlehem. They had
travelled for days, suffered great deprivation, and when they finally got to Bethlehem got
lost trying to find the manger. Finally, after much ado, and in rather foul moods, they
reached the manger and entered the stall. As one of them came through the door, he tripped on
the door sill, and fell into the wall hitting his head. "Jesus Christ!" he screamed, and
that is how the baby was named.
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