There was a young man of Loch Leven
Who went for a walk about seven.
He fell into a pit
That was brimful of shit,
And now the poor bugger's in heaven.
There was a young fellow in Buckingham.
Wrote a treatise on cunts and on sucking them,
But later this work
Was eclipsed by a Turk
Whose topic was ass-holes and fucking them.
Here I sit Same as ever
Dirty arse, got no paper
Boss is calling,
Can not linger
Stuff it, I'll use me finger
Sent by Sarah
Most all husbands can testify
To a wedding they cannot deny.
'Cause they know where and when
They got married, but then,
What exactly escapes them is why.
There was a young singer named Springer,
Got his testicles caught in a wringer.
He hollered in pain
As they rolled down the drain,
(falsetto): "There goes my career as a singer!"
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