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Today's jokes [3.17.04]

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This freelance journalist discovered Adolf Hitler was alive and well and
living in South America.  He managed to wrangle a 'once-in-a-lifetime'
interview with Hitler on the condition that he was not to reveal where
Hitler was living.  He went to this interview, and lo and behold, yes, it
was Adolf Hitler, looking very old.  He interviewed him, asking him all
sorts of questions, and as a final question, asked "What are you doing now,
in the twilight of your life?"

Hitler replied "Hah!  Twilight of my life!  I'll have you know that I am
secretly putting together the 4th Reich, right here in South America!  This
time we'll do it right.  We have a foolproof plan - this time we will kill
EVERY JEW in the world - and 6 MEXICANS!!!".

The journalist asked  "...but...but....but why 6 MEXICANS??"

Hitler jumped to his feet and yelled "SEE, I TOLD THEM THAT NO-ONE GIVES A
SHIT ABOUT THE JEWS!"



1.   Vote:    Category: Miscellaneous Send this joke to a friend




Could this herald the return of our resident wise man, Cunning Lin Gus?

Three Irish women were discussing their respective mates over tea.
"I call my man 'Eight,' " said the first woman, "Because he's got
 eight inches, and we do it eight times a day."
The second woman said in response, "I call my man 'Ten'because his dong
is ten inches long, and we do it ten times every night."
The first woman then asked the third woman "What do you call your man?"
She answered " 'Creme de Menthe.' "
"Why?  Isn't' that a liqueur?" the other two wanted to know.
"Yep, it is," said the woman, continuing, "yeah, you betcha!"



2.   Vote:    Category: Sex Send this joke to a friend




What did Chelsea say when Hillary asked if she had sex yet?

"Not according to Dad."

3.   Vote:    Category: Politics Send this joke to a friend




While in prison O.J. had another prisoner join him in his
cell. This person was 8' tall and 670 lbs. of solid muscle.
He asked O.J. if he wanted to be the husband or the wife. 
Now O.J. not being stupid started reasoning in his mind "OK
if I say I'm going to be the wife, this guy is going to fuck
me in the ass." So O.J. said he was going to be the husband. 
The other prisoner said, OK O.J. your the husband. Now get
over here and suck your wife's dick." 

4.   Vote:    Category: Criminals Send this joke to a friend




   This guys is sitting at the end of a bar. Each time someone comes in
   the door he says,
   rapidly,"Tickle your ass with a feather?" At which point they usually
   ask him what it was
   he said, and he then says, "Terribly nasty weather." They then go off
   looking confused. A
   drunk a few stools down observes this and finally says, "Say, buddy, I
   see what'cher
   doin'-- you're putting people on! When somebody comes in the door you
   say, Tickle your
   ass with a feather, and when they say, What did you say to me? you
   say, terribly nasty
   weather." So the guy says to the drunk, "Yeah, it's fun putting people
   on. Come on down
   here and you do the next one that comes in." The drunk moves down to
   the end of the bar.
   In a few moments a person enters, and he says to her: "Stick a feather
   up your ass? She
   said, excuse me, what did you say? He says, can you believe this
   fucking weather?
   


5.   Vote:    Category: Drunks Send this joke to a friend



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