This freelance journalist discovered Adolf Hitler was alive and well and
living in South America. He managed to wrangle a 'once-in-a-lifetime'
interview with Hitler on the condition that he was not to reveal where
Hitler was living. He went to this interview, and lo and behold, yes, it
was Adolf Hitler, looking very old. He interviewed him, asking him all
sorts of questions, and as a final question, asked "What are you doing now,
in the twilight of your life?"
Hitler replied "Hah! Twilight of my life! I'll have you know that I am
secretly putting together the 4th Reich, right here in South America! This
time we'll do it right. We have a foolproof plan - this time we will kill
EVERY JEW in the world - and 6 MEXICANS!!!".
The journalist asked "...but...but....but why 6 MEXICANS??"
Hitler jumped to his feet and yelled "SEE, I TOLD THEM THAT NO-ONE GIVES A
SHIT ABOUT THE JEWS!"
Could this herald the return of our resident wise man, Cunning Lin Gus?
Three Irish women were discussing their respective mates over tea.
"I call my man 'Eight,' " said the first woman, "Because he's got
eight inches, and we do it eight times a day."
The second woman said in response, "I call my man 'Ten'because his dong
is ten inches long, and we do it ten times every night."
The first woman then asked the third woman "What do you call your man?"
She answered " 'Creme de Menthe.' "
"Why? Isn't' that a liqueur?" the other two wanted to know.
"Yep, it is," said the woman, continuing, "yeah, you betcha!"
What did Chelsea say when Hillary asked if she had sex yet?
"Not according to Dad."
While in prison O.J. had another prisoner join him in his
cell. This person was 8' tall and 670 lbs. of solid muscle.
He asked O.J. if he wanted to be the husband or the wife.
Now O.J. not being stupid started reasoning in his mind "OK
if I say I'm going to be the wife, this guy is going to fuck
me in the ass." So O.J. said he was going to be the husband.
The other prisoner said, OK O.J. your the husband. Now get
over here and suck your wife's dick."
This guys is sitting at the end of a bar. Each time someone comes in
the door he says,
rapidly,"Tickle your ass with a feather?" At which point they usually
ask him what it was
he said, and he then says, "Terribly nasty weather." They then go off
looking confused. A
drunk a few stools down observes this and finally says, "Say, buddy, I
doin'-- you're putting people on! When somebody comes in the door you
say, Tickle your
ass with a feather, and when they say, What did you say to me? you
say, terribly nasty
weather." So the guy says to the drunk, "Yeah, it's fun putting people
on. Come on down
here and you do the next one that comes in." The drunk moves down to
the end of the bar.
In a few moments a person enters, and he says to her: "Stick a feather
up your ass? She
said, ìexcuse me, what did you say?î He says, ìcan you believe this
By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's Quotes