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Today's stories[6.11.02]

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A young woman was doing some business at Marshall University and parked in an area clearly marked "no parking." After taking care of business, she returned to her car to find a campus security guard writing her a ticket. "Why are you giving me a ticket?" she asked. "You're not allowed to park here," the guard said. "See that sign? It says 'Fine for Parking Here.'" "Well," said the violator, "I thought it was a fine place to park." The guard began to laugh. The more he thought about it, the harder he laughed. He tore up the ticket and waved the woman on her way.
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Redmond -- Citing the event as a new era of peace and cooperation, Bill Gates today announced Microsoft's purchase of Netscape. Said Gates: "Hopefully now the world knows we're serious about the Web." Microsoft's first move will be to combine the two browsers, with the MINE (Microsoft Internet Netscape Explorer) browser due this year. "When we release this version," said Gates, "all Web access will be MINE."
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You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?" Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room. The pilot's story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation. By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn't a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base" briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way. The next day, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP's surrounded the plane...only this time there were two people in the plane. The same pilot jumped out and said, "Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night!" Sent by Vic
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