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Today's stories[9.8.01]

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A man went into a drug store, pulled a gun, announced a robbery,
and pulled a Hefty-bag face mask over his head -- and realized
that he'd forgotten to cut eyeholes in the mask. 

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I've just got some awful news. A friend of mine is in danger of losing his license to practice medicine. He's being accused of having sex with some of his patients. It's such a stupid waste! He was the best veterinarian in town.
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Did you know who in 1923 was: 1.President of the largest steel company? 2.President of the largest gas company? 3.President of the New York Stock Exchange? 4.Greatest wheat speculator? 5.President of the Bank of International Settlement? 6.Great Bear of Wall Street? These men should have been considered some of the world's most successful men. At least they found the secret of making money. Now more than 55 years later, do you know what has become of these men? 1.The President of the largest steel company, Charles Schwab, died a pauper. 2.The President of the largest gas company, Edward Hopson, is insane. 3.The President of the N.Y.S.E., Richard Whitney, was released from prison to die at home. 4.The greatest wheat speculator, Arthur Cooger, died abroad, penniless. 5.The President of the Bank of International Settlement shot himself. 6.The Great Bear of Wall Street, Cosabee Rivermore, died of suicide. The same year, 1923, the winner of the most important golf championship, Gene Sarazan, won the U.S. Open and PGA Tournaments. Today he is still playing golf and is solvent. Conclusion: Stop worrying about business and start playing golf
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