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Today's poems[9.5.01]

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A company of Grenadier Guards 
               While traversing the park, formed in squads, 
                    Saw two naked statues 
                    At three-quarter pratt views, 
               Which perceptibly stiffened their rods. 



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1
Have you heard of young Franchot Tone Who felt of his own peculiar bone? It was long and quite narrow And filled full of marrow, And less edible than stale corn pone.
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2
There was an old maid from Bruton Who had the bad habit of pootin'. Her sphincter was weak, Her wind she couldn't keep--- This tootin' old spinster from Bruton.
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3
A stingy old man of St. Giles Saved his shillings with miserly wiles. Just to save a few bob He would wipe with a cob, And that way he got piles and piles!
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4
A fellow with love-making flair Was licking his sweetie "down there." He said, as some gas Escaped from her ass, "Thank God for a breath of fresh air!"
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5

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