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There was an old lady who lay
With her legs wide apart in the hay,
Then calling the ploughman,
She said, "Do it now, man!
Don't wait till your hair has turned gray."
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1
"At a seance," said a young man named Post,
"I was being sucked off by a ghost;
Someone switched on the lights
And there in guaze tights,
On his knees, was Tobias mine host."
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2
There was a young lady from Munich
Who was had in a park by a eunuch.
In a moment of passion
He shot her a ration
From a squirt-gun concealed 'neath his tunic.
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3
There once was a fellow named Trete
Who from birth was inclined to be neat.
He became extra fussy
When he thought his pants mussy,
And would throw them away in the street.
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4
There was a young man of St. Paul's
Possessed the most useless of balls.
Till at last, at The Strand,
He managed a stand,
And tossed himself off in the stalls.
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5
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