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Grandpa and Little Johnny are sitting on a bench in the park.
Johnny asked, "Grandpa are you going to take that new
Grandpa looks at him and says "No Johnny, I will not."
"But Grandpa, why?" asks little Johnny. Grandpa replies.
"Because there is no sense in putting lead in your pencil if you
have no one worth writing to."
Send this joke to a friend 1 Jon left for a two day business trip to Chicago. He was only a
few blocks away from his house when he realized he'd left his
plane ticket on top of his dresser.
He turned around and headed back to the house. He quietly
entered the door, walked into the kitchen. He saw his wife
washing the breakfast dishes, wearing her skimpiest negligee.
She looked so good that he tiptoed up behind her, reached out,
and squeezed her left tit.
"Leave only one quart of milk," she said. "Jon won't be here for
Send this joke to a friend 2 John pulled over the car by the side of the road and
showed Brian where he'd first had sex.
"It was right down there by that tree. I remember the day
plainly. It was a warm summer day. She and I were so much
in love. We walked down to the tree and made love for hours,"
"That sounds wonderful," said Brian.
"Yes. It was ok until I looked up and noticed her mother was
standing right there watching us."
"Oh my God!!! What did her mother say when she saw you
making love to her daughter?"
Send this joke to a friend 3 A first-grade teacher was overseeing her students as they
experimented with their desk computers. One boy sat staring
at the screen, unsure how to get the computer going.
The teacher walked over and read what was on his screen.
In her most reassuring voice, she said, "The computer wants to
know what your name is," then she walked over to the next
The boy leaned toward the screen and whispered, "My name is
Send this joke to a friend 4 A man comes home from work one day and he says to his
wife: "Honey, I got a new secretary. And imagine what
happened! She's got a red and white bra. You know, these
are the colors of my favorite football team. Anyway, it's not
a big deal but it feels good."
The next day when they come home his wife asks, "How was
The man says: "Fantastic! It's not only her bra that is red and
white but also her panties. You know it's not a big deal but it
really feels good!"
The third day they meet at home after work and now the man
asks his wife, "And what happened today in your office,
She says, "Oh, nothing special, sweetheart. I got a new boss
today. His dick is two inches longer than yours. You know it's
not a big deal but, hell, it feels good!"
Send this joke to a friend 5