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Why did the chicken cross the road?
Let me say this one more time.
I did not have sexual relations with
Send this joke to a friend 1 A man suspected his wife of seeing another man.
So, he hired a famous Chinese detective,
Ram Pam Sim Wimm, to watch and report any
activities that might develop. A few days later,
he received this report:
Most honorable sir:
You leave house.
He come house.
He and she leave house.
He and she get on train.
He and she go in hotel.
I climb tree-look in window.
He kiss she.
She kiss he.
He strip she.
She strip he.
He play with she.
She play with he.
I play with me.
Fall out of tree, not see.
Sent by Marina
Send this joke to a friend 2 Michael Jackson and the doctor are walking out
of the delivery room after his wife gives birth
to their son. Michael says, "How long before we
can have sex?"
The doctor says, "At least wait until he's walking."
Send this joke to a friend 3 The Y-Zero-K Problem
Translated from a recently discovered Latin scroll dated 2BC
Are you still working on the Y zero K problem? This change
from BC to AD is giving us many headaches; there is not much
time left. I don't know how citizens will cope with working the
wrong way around. Having been working happily downwards
forever, now we have to start thinking upwards. You would think
that someone would have thought of this earlier and not left it to
us to sort it out at the last minute.
I spoke to Caesar the other evening. He was livid that Julius
hadn't done something about it when he was working out the
calendar. He said he could see why Brutus turned nasty. We
called in Consultus, but he simply said that continuing
downwards using minus BC won't work and as usual charged a
fortune for doing nothing useful. Surely, we will not have to
throw out all our hardware and start again? Macrohard will
make yet another fortune out of this, I suppose.
The money lenders are paranoid of course! They have been
told that all usury rates will invert, and they will have to pay
their clients to take out loans. It is an ill wind... .
As for myself, I just cannot see how the sand in an hourglass
will flow upwards. We have heard that there are three wise men
in the East who have been working on the problem, but
unfortunately they won't arrive until it's all over.
I have heard that there are plans to stable all horses at
midnight at the turn of the year as there are fears that they will
stop and try to run backwards, causing immense damage to
chariots and possible loss of life. Some say the world will
cease to exist at the moment of transition.
Anyway, we are still continuing to work on this acursed Y zero
K problem. I will send you a parchment if anything further
If you have any ideas please let me know,
Sent by Marina
Send this joke to a friend 4 A man walks into a friend and sees that his friend's car
is total loss and covered with leaves, grass, branches,
dirt and blood. He asks his friend,
"What's happened to your car?"
"Well," the friend responses, "I ran into a lawyer".
"OK," says the man, "that explains the blood... But what about
the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt?"
"Well, I had to chase him all through the park."
Send this joke to a friend 5