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Today's stories[3.5.01]

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One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment" stories I've come upon in a
long time was about a lady who picked up several items at a discount store.
When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items 
had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the 
intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON 
LANETHIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at 
the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word Tampax" for 
"THUMBTACKS." In a businesslike tone, a voice boomed back over the 
intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMBOR THE KIND
YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"



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Pad, please! An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our mortgage insurance. He was throwing a lot of facts and figures at me, and I wanted to follow as Best I could, so I told my 6-year-old son to run and get me a pad. He came Back and handed me a Kotex right in front of our guest.
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2
It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a nude piggyback ride to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled, "SURPRISE!" My entire family: aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and all my friends Were standing there. My girlfriend and I were frozen embarrassment for What seemed like an eternity. Since then, no one in my family has planned a surprise party again.
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