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Today's stories[3.20.01]

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Still, there are some things a big company can do that
a small band of programmers could never hope to accomplish.
This was best shown to me this week by reader
Brian P. McLean, who points out that according to his
Microsoft Outlook 97 scheduling/datebook application,
Thanksgiving falls this year on Wednesday, November 26.

Thanksgiving has always fallen on Thursday before. Wednesday
may be an improvement. I don't know. 

    - Robert X. Cringely, from his "I, Cringely" column (November 7, 1997) 

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Then there was the psychology professor, a Yankee's Yankee and a feminist's feminist, who tells the following story about herself to illustrate that doctorates don't necessarily make you smart. She was driving to a workshop in Atlanta from her home in Ohio. It was about 10 am, and she'd been driving the entire preceding day and night herself, and she was consequently not in the best of tempers as she searched for a motel in which to crash. A Georgia state policeman pulled her over, got out of his cruiser, swaggered up to her driver's window, bent down, and drawled, "Lookie here, darlin',"--uh oh, everybody duck--"Lookie here, darlin', nobody blows through Georgia that fast." Said the feminist Yankee overtired psychology professor: "Sherman did." She says he was not satisfied merely to give her a speeding ticket; he made her follow him fifty miles out of her way to Nowheresburg, GA, and wait at the police station until three in the afternoon for a circuit judge to arrive so that he could explain to her why it wasn't the best idea in the world to be impolite to policemen, who were after all interested only in creating the safest possible environment for everybody including her, etc. etc. The lecture went on for about two hours, she says, after which she was released to drive the fifty miles back to her route and resume her search for someplace to crash.
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A man went into a drug store, pulled a gun, announced a robbery, and pulled a Hefty-bag face mask over his head -- and realized that he'd forgotten to cut eyeholes in the mask.
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