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Today's stories[3.16.01]

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Subject: If You Gotta Go, Start Early

This story is about a rather strange reply for a 
campground reservation. It is said to be true, 
but you be the judge.

A woman who was rather old-fashioned, delicate, 
and elegant - especially in her language - was 
planning a week's vacation in Florida so she wrote 
to a particular campground and asked for a 

She wanted to make sure the campground was fully 
equipped, but didn't quite know how to ask about 
the toilet facilities. She just couldn't bring 
herself to write the word 'TOILET' in her letter. 
After much deliberation, she finally came up with 
the old-fashioned term 'BATHROOM COMMODE.' But 
when she wrote that down, she still thought she 
was being too forward. So, she started all over 
again, rewrote the letter and referred to the 
bathroom commode merely as the B.C. 'Does the 
campground have it's own B.C.?' is what she 
actually wrote.

Well, the campground owner wasn't old-fashioned at 
all and when he got the letter, he just couldn't 
figure out what the woman was talking about. That 
B.C. business really stumped him.

After worrying about it for a while, he showed the 
letter to several campers, but they couldn't 
imagine what the lady meant either. So the 
campground owner, finally coming to the conclusion 
that the lady must be asking about the location of 
the local Baptist Church, sat down and wrote the 
following reply:
'Dear Madam: I regret very much for the delay in 
answering your letter. I now take the pleasure in 
informing you that a B.C. is located nine miles 
north of the campground and is capable of seating 
250 people at one time. I admit it is quite a 
distance away if you are in the habit of going 
regularly, but no doubt you will be pleased to 
know that a great number of people usually take 
their lunches along and make a day of it. They 
usually arrive early and stay late.'
'The last time my wife and I went was six years 
ago and it was so crowded that we had to stand up 
the whole time we were there. It may interest you 
to know that right now, there is a supper being 
planned to raise money to buy more seats. They're 
going to hold it in the basement of the B.C.'
'I would like to say it pains me very much not to 
be able to go more regularly but it is sure no 
lack of desire on my part. As we grow older, it 
seems to be more of an effort, particularly in 
cold weather.'
'If you do decide to come down to our campground, 
perhaps I could go with you the first time you go, 
sit with you, and introduce you to all the other 
'Remember, this is a friendly community.'

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London, England: The airline Virgin Atlantic plans to install bedrooms complete with showers, Jacuzzis and double beds in its 747 jumbos to encourage travelers to join the "Mile High Club", a report said Wednesday. Ten to 12 rooms will be installed in the hold of airplanes and be accessed by a staircase from the main cabin, the Sun newspaper said. The price of a trip from London to New York would be around 2,900 pounds ($4,600). "You can do it on cruise ships and trains, why not on a plane? Passengers will find it comfy and romantic," airline boss Richard Branson was quoted as saying. The paper said Branson also plans a Kiddie Class, where airline nannies and clowns will entertain children.
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Watertown, New York: It was eagle-eyed zookeepers who noticed first. The DNA testing only proved what they already suspected. The Thompson Park Zoo's American bald eagle breeding program was going nowhere. Not with two males, anyway. "We had our suspicions right away. The birds are virtually the identical size," said Director Glenn D. Dobrogosz, who laughed Tuesday about the gender mix-up that provided a comical start to the zoo's new eagle breeding program. "It happens. Not a lot. But it happens," he said. The two American bald eagles - supposedly a male and female - arrived at the zoo last July from the Bird Treatment and Learning Center in Anchorage, Alaska. The two males became good buddies but zookeepers quickly realized there would be no amorous flights for these two, Dobrogosz said. Because bald eagle males and females share the same coloring characteristics, it is difficult to determine gender by visual inspection. However, in most raptor species, the female is slightly larger than the male, he said. Based on their size and behavior, the Alaska center mistakenly thought it had sent a male and a female, Dobrogosz said. It wasn't until the Thompson Park Zoo took blood samples for DNA testing that it confirmed the birds' sexes. "Sure enough, they both were boys," he said. Now that the confusion has been cleared up, zookeepers are once again focused on the romancing. One of the males is being sent to the Clinch Park Zoo in Traverse City, Mich. Meanwhile, the Watertown zoo already has received a new female from another raptor rehabilitation center on Sitka Island in Alaska. "We're positive this time," Dobrogosz said, heading off the inevitable inquiry about the bird's gender.
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