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Today's poems[3.8.01]

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Part 1 of 12
   
                    There was a young fellow from Sparta,
                            
                    A really magnificent farter,
                            On the strength of one bean
                            He'd fart God Save the Queen,
                            
                    And Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.
                            




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1
A studious professor named Nestor Bet a whore all his books he could best her. But she drained out his balls And skipped up the walls, Beseeching poor Nestor to rest her.
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2
Part 2 of 2: Then when she had wiped off her bung Of the clinkers that thereunto clung, She would singe off the hair That had sprouted down there, And would lick her twat clean with her tongue.
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3
Part 1 of 2: There was a young girl with a pretty-ass, And her habits were neat but invidious. She would wipe with a taper Of scented blue paper, Since she was so very fastidious.
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4
RELATIVES Many many years ago when I was twenty three, I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be. This widow had a grown-up daughter Who had hair of red. My father fell in love with her, And soon the two were wed. This made my dad my son-in-law And changed my very life. My daughter was my mother, For she was my father's wife. To complicate the matters worse, Although it brought me joy, I soon became the father Of a bouncing baby boy. My little baby then became A brother-in-law to dad. And so became my uncle, Though it made me very sad. For if he was my uncle, Then that also made him brother To the widow's grown-up daughter Who, of course, was my step-mother. Father's wife then had a son, Who kept them on the run. And he became my grandson, For he was my daughter's son. My wife is now my mother's mother And it makes me blue. Because, although she is my wife, She's my grandmother too. If my wife is my grandmother, Then I am her grandchild. And every time I think of it, It simply drives me wild. For now I have become The strangest case you ever saw. As the husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa!
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5

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