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A lady went running to a doctor with a badly spoiled stomach.  
"What did you eat for dinner last night?" asked the doctor.
"Oysters," she said.
"Fresh oysters?" asked the doctor.
"How should I know?" said the lady
"Well," asked the doctor, "couldn't you tell when you took off the 
shells?"
"My Gosh," gasped the lady.  "Are you supposed to take off the shells?"



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1
A man was taken to court for stealing an item from a store. The man said to the judge, "Your Honor, I'm a Christian. I've become a new man. But I have and old nature also. It was not my new man who did wrong. It was my old man." The judge responded, "Since it was the old man that broke the law, we'll sentence him to 60 days in jail. And since the new man was an accomplice in the theft, we'll give him 30 days, too. I therefore sentence you both to 90 days in jail."
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2
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia? Everyone has the same DNA.
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3
Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time? A: The pickup truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."
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4
Teacher: How can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day? Little Johnny: I get up early.
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5

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