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Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby. "This," she said, "I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?" "No, madam," replied the attendant. "That one's called a mirror."
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1
One day, a fellow went for a ride through the park on his bicycle. The following day, a friend asked him if he would like to do it again. He replied, "No thanks, I'm not into recycling."
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2
A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window, "Pull over!" "No," she shouts back, "a pair of socks!"
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3
Saddam HUSSEIN of Iraq wanted a special postage stamp issued, with his picture on it. He so instructed his Postmaster General, stressing that it should be of international quality. The stamps were duly released of the stamp, he began hearing complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and become furious. He called the chief of the Secret Service and ordered him to investigate the matter. The chief checked the matter out at several post offices, and then reported on the problem to him. He said:" Sir, the stamp is really of international quality. The problem is, our citizens are spitting on the wrong side!"
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4
These two guys go to a whorehouse. The first guy goes in then comes out and says, "My wife is better." The second guy goes in then comes out and says, "You know what? Your wife IS better."
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5
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