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A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights
broken and considerable damage. There's no sign of the
offending vehicle but he's relieved to see that there's a
note stuck under the windshield wiper.
"Sorry. I just backed into your Beemer. The witnesses who saw
the accident are nodding and smiling at me because they think
I'm leaving my name, address and other particulars. But I'm not."
Send this joke to a friend 1 Only in America... do we use the word 'politics' to describe
the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and
'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
Send this joke to a friend 2 Boy: Will you punish me for something I didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not!
Boy: Good, cause I didn't do my homework!
Send this joke to a friend 3 Presidential Election'2000
I am a sailor in the US Coast Guard. My parents live in the suburb of
Philadelphia and one of my sisters, who lives in Bensenville, is married
to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for
growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other
two sisters, who are prostitutes in Jersey City. I have two brothers, one
who is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Attica for rape and
murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently being
held in the Wellington Remand Center on charges of incest with his three
children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute
who lives in the Bronx and indeed is still a part-time "working girl" in a
brothel. However her time there is limited, as we hope to open our own
brothel with her as the working manager. I am hoping my two sisters would
be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to
prostitute themselves, at least it would get them off the street,
and hopefully the heroin... Abby, my problem is this: I love my fiance
and look forward to bringing her into the family and of course I want to
be totally honest with her... Should I tell her about my cousin who voted
Worried about my reputation
Send this joke to a friend 4 A young boy, about eight years old, walks into the local
grocery store and picks our a huge box of laundry detergent.
The grocer walked over, and trying to be friendly,
asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do.
"Nope, no laundry," the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog!"
"But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog. It's very
powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick.
In fact, it might even kill him."
But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent
to the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer still
tried to talk him out of washing his dog.
About a week later the boy was back in the store to buy some
candy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing.
"Oh, he died," the boy said sadly.
The grocer, trying not to be an I-told-you-so, said he was
sorry the dog died but added, "I tried to tell you not to use
that detergent on your dog!"
"Well," the boy replied, "I don't think it was the detergent
that killed him."
"Oh? What was it then?"
"I think it was the spin cycle!"
Send this joke to a friend 5