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Today's jokes[3.22.01]

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For all animal lovers out there:

How do you make a cat go 'woof'? 
Soak it in petrol, and set it on fire. 

and...

How do you make a dog go 'miaow'? 
Freeze it in liquid nitrogen, and run it through a bandsaw...



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1
Two missionaries in Africa get apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, build a huge fire under it, and leave them there. A few minutes later, one of the missionaries starts to laugh uncontrollably. The other missionary can't believe it! He says, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?" The other missionary says, "I just peed in the soup."
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2
What do you do with a dog with no legs? Take it for a drag.
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3
Two guys were out hunting, but they weren't getting any ducks. "What do you think the problem is?" one man asked his companion. "I dunno," came the reply, "Maybe we aren't throwing the dog up high enough."
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4
What language do the Vatican Police speak? Pig Latin!
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5

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