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A guy meets a girl out at a nightclub and she invites him back to her place for the night. Her parents are out of town and this is the perfect opportunity. They get back to her house and they go into her bedroom. When the guy walks in the door, he notices all these fluffy toys. There's hundreds of them, fluffy toys on top of the wardrobe, fluffy toys on the bookshelf and window sill, there's more on the floor, and of course fluffy toys all over the bed. Later after they've had sex, he turns to her and asks "So, how was I?" She says "Well ... you can take anything from the bottom shelf."
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1
Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's a woman's job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd want to have dinner with.
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2
Some beauty parlors do a great job. One young man followed a young woman for twenty blocks. Then he found out it was his grandmother.
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3
Tom : I found twenty cents on the sidewalk. Jim : That's mine. I dropped a twenty-cent coin there this morning. Tom : But, what I found was two ten-cent coins! Jim : That's it. I heard it break when it hit the ground.
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4
A department store had to call off its special summer sale in August because of a conflict -- its Christmas sale was beginning two days later.
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5
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