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Today's jokes[3.14.01]

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What do you call a guy who knows how to play the trombone, but doesn't?

A gentleman.



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1
A guy is screwing a great looking blonde. The girl asks, "You haven't got AIDS have you?" He replies, "No." She responds, "Oh, thank heavens for that!! I don't want to get that again...!"
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2
John : I don't know what to buy - a cow or a bicycle. Peter : You will look silly riding a cow. John : I will look even sillier trying to milk a bicycle.
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3
Mrs. Jones is having her house painted, and her husband comes home from work and leans against the freshly painted wall. The next day, she says to the painter, "You wanna see where my husband put his hand last night?" He sighs and says, "Look, lady, I got a tough day's work ahead of me. Why don't you just make us a cup of tea?"
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4
Two goldfish are in a tank when one turns to the other and says "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
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5

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